You know the one, “Special children are only sent to special parents.” Yeah that one, the one that makes me want to punch people in the face and on the whole I’m not a particularly violent person.
This line (which is usually said in the kindest way so I apologize if i seem ungrateful) is meant to make me feel good about myself like I’m stronger than most, a bit more special myself I guess, but I can assure it does not. When people say this I want to remind them of the moment that morning when I lost my cool and shouted at my child making them cry and making me feel like a monster, or about how I usually keep an iPad charged and ready for when my daughter wakes in the night so I can occupy her enough to get a bit more sleep myself. I want to remind them that I have given up trying to give one child any form of fruit or veg as quite frankly I’m over having to scrape any more food out of the carpet than I need to. I want to say that I sometimes forget my son has autism because he’s so obviously less affected than his sister and that I often expect way too much of him.
This phrase puts me, it puts us on a pedestal that I don’t frankly belong on. I’m a mom, I have been for nearly 6 years, most of it as a single one and always that of two children with quirks and differences…but it’s only different to you. To us it’s normal. Yes sometimes it’s hard and sometimes in the most challenging moments I’ve secretly wished for normal whatever the hell that is, then have almost instantly reminded myself that normal is bullshit!
I don’t know how people cope with regular kids who quite frankly to me seem quite needy (I jest, sort of.)
Disabled adults keep fighting against being used as inspirational posters about how amazing they’ve done by y’know just being alive. I think it’s time we stop treating SEN parents that way too. That’s not saying that we’re not amazing, we all freakin’ rock big time but we’re just doing it day by day like everyone else!
NB. Be careful using these cheerleadery quotes too early, especially before caffein has done it’s job. We often don’t sleep too well so we may bite!