What would you do with the boy who seems ‘normal?’
At 3 and a half I have to decide where I think he should be educated in a year’s time.
For his sister it was simple, mainstream was never an option.
For the boy whom more than a couple of professionals have called ‘a mystery’ it’s a lot harder!
Pretty much everyone who knows him will see the sometimes serious, often goofy little boy who loves dinosaurs, trains and superheroes. For the majority of the time this is what I see also.
However I cannot ignore the finer details. He’s been going to nursery for 18 months and adores his time there. We chat all the way there and every morning he excitedly runs and hides from the teacher as I ring the doorbell. As soon as the door opens and we step inside he goes mute. He clings to my leg and I have to wrestle his jacket off him. He always goes in easily and by routine he will look back at me. In the 18 months he’s been going he’s managed to say bye to me twice and only with massive teacher prompting. It was so painful for him that I don’t bother trying anymore. On leaving he has similar although lessened difficulty saying goodbye to the teachers.
In nursery he’s happy and socialises well although he likes to stick to communicating in roars and ‘I’m batman’ script (like most boys.) He also spends a lot of time with a little girl who speaks very little, I think this is Logan’s preference. He struggles with transition in nursery and often needs prompting and reassurance. His reactions aren’t dramatic, he doesn’t scream or throw his arms in the air. He tends to go mute. For Logan this is normal in any new, unfamiliar situation…but nursery is definitely familiar by now.
In a mainstream school how can I guarantee he’ll get the support he needs. In a class of 30 how will the teacher be able to notice the mute child? Tantrums are noticeable, mute is sure to be overlooked.
On the other hand does he need a specialist setting? Will he stand out? Be held back?
I wish there was a measure for anxiety, something tangible that I could give to prospective schools. As it stands, like autism I have to trust professionals to spot it and react accordingly.
Am I possibly pushing my anxiety about school ahead of his? I hear so often about high functioning autistic children being failed by mainstream settings and it’s terrifying that a) I could make the wrong choice and b) I would have to trust an instinct as currently feelings are confusing for him and he has shocking memory recall.
I know my decision isn’t set in stone but who wants to plan for best, prepare for the worst in regards to their child’s education?
Replies and share appreciated x