Autism · Family

Reaching goals and people worldwide

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I thought I’d start this post by saying hello to my new readers in Korea 안녕하세요 and Germany Guten Tag.
Its truly unbelievable that people so far away are reading these words (and often pictures) of mine. I understand that many reader will stumble upon me accidentally by typing something casually into a search engine (probably cake) and poof, up my little blog pops. But however they find me it’s nice to be nice. Hopefully they might feel compelled to have a little read and maybe learn something along the way.

Back to the task at hand…

For every parent of a child on the Autistic Spectrum the mass of information you feel compelled to research, the list of specialists you need to call, the floor time, ABA, physiotherapists home exercises, the routine, the obsessions and everything else can be overwhelming. For the most part we don’t complain (not too loudly anyway) all of those things are what we deem important, we cannot allow our children to merely float casually path of life. Their path is unknown, uneven and in need of work. Our children often struggle with day to day activities potty training, getting dressed, using cutlery and so on.

I never see any of this as a problem as my girlie was my first child so to me she is simply doing things at her own pace. I continue to stretch her boundaries everyday and offer opportunities to become more self sufficient but I don’t push. We know that pushing is not the way to go.

The problem I have is with my little man. He is 19 months behind his sister but rapidly catching her up in height, weight and physical ability. At this point I must note that he was walking albeit shakily at 8/9 months and running by 10 months. 20130219-235913.jpg

He could climb a full flight of stairs in record speed before he could walk and likes nothing more than carrying objects bigger than himself (toy garage, mini Dyson) around and then dropping them dramatically like the guys in the Worlds Strongest Man.

I think it’s time I got all those baby books out and and revisited the websites that I dismissed when the girlie started missng her milestones. There is really no need to torture yourself as a parent when it says your child should by this month be reciting at least 4 of Shakespeare’s sonnets and able to complete a 1000 piece jigsaw (blindfolded) (with one hand tied behind their overachieving back.) These lists only serve to make you feel bad when your child has yet to say a word and looks at you like you’ve lost the plot when you pull out a jigsaw, she may not say it but I know she’s thinking “Jigsaw, iPad, jigsaw, iPad?” The look of disdain says it all.

I however seem to have lost the plot on where my boy should actually be developmentally and am worried I may be holding him back because I am so used to doing everything for his sister. He already has more awareness in certain areas, yesterday he tried to put the portable phone back on its base in front of the TV. He couldn’t reach so he overarmed it straight into the screen. Not ideal but at least he’s aware that that’s where the phone lives…

Uses two words skillfully (e.g. “hello” and “bye”)

I took a peek at the Babycentre website which I was addicted to with my girl, being pregnant in a foreign country was scary and I found the forums and information really useful. http://www.babycentre.co.uk/e6474/milestone-chart-13-to-18-months#ixzz2LNtJGOJv
According to them my boy should be
  • using two words skilfully eg hello, bye (….nope)
  • bends over and picks up an object (yes)
  • Stands independantly (definitely although he loses the abilitly when I need to get him dressed…)
  • Finger feeds (handfuls being shovelled into his mouth is more the phrase I’d use.)
  • Empties container of contents (sighs…..yes, oh yes)
  • Imitates others (maybe, will look out for this)

Now these are the Top 50% of baby skills (my words not theirs)

  • Enjoys gazing at his reflection (gazing, shouting at and snogging the mirror, yes)
  • Drinks from a cup (messily yes)
  • Plays peekaboo (yes….such fun…)
  • Toddles well (toddles??? No, runs well yes)
  • Initiates games (not really unless body slamming me and playing the drums on my face counts)
  • Points to one part of body when asked (no)

Now we’re onto the crem de la crem (again my words)

  • Combines words and gestures (don’t be silly)
  • Tries to lift heavy things (already covered that topic…)
  • Rolls a ball back and forth ( with varying degrees of success but getting there)
  • Uses a spoon or fork (does holding a spoon in one hand and eating your yogurt with the other hand count?)
  • Matches lids to appropriate containers (wasn’t aware this was a skill but I’m feeling pretty smug now)
  • Pushes and pulls toys while walking (he likes to push the off toy pram but generally prefers carrying it.)

Well that wasn’t too painful. Why would I ever be surprised when in a house where his closest relative doesn’t use language effectively the only areas he is holding back in are language. He did today say Mama for the first time, he usually says it when eating (Food=Mama not anymore kid!)

I am totally aware that children develop differently but I think its important our non-autistic children are allowed to grow at their own pace and not held back. That’s it now, I’m off to have a kip he can fix dinner up from now on…

안녕히 가세요 (one for my Korean fans.)

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