I love that by breastfeeding my little man I am giving him the very best start available as, after this period ends I definitely feel my parenting skills go downhill. I never wanted to breastfeed and must admit that before I tried it with my daughter was absolutely repulsed by the concept. As someone who wasn’t breastfed I don’t feel I missed out, I’ve always been healthy, have no allergies etc however I do think I inherited a negative view of breastfeeding from my mom. The look of shock on her face when I said I was going to ‘try’ (and at that stage hopefully fail.) said it all. She has since come around to the idea somewhat, me feeding my son is fine but now and again her old demons creep out and you can see the whole concept creeps her out.
It was my children’s dad who asked me to give it a try mid-way through my first pregnancy. Initially I freaked out. I don’t come from a family of breast-feeders, it seemed so alien and to be honest weird. By the time my daughter was born I had got my head around the concept but I was still scared. Luckily for me I didn’t have to think through the procedure too much as soon after birth while I was shaking on an adrenaline low after (an oh so natural) childbirth a nurse checked I wanted to breastfeed then literally plonked her on me. I was so tired at this point that I didn’t even have the energy to be shocked when she instantly latched on and milk started flowing freely.
I exclusively breastfed for 7 months, a month more than I wanted to. By 6 months I’ had enough (heartless and selfish yes I know) and my daughter had teeth and had a habit of biting which made me want to throw her across the room. Not a happy situation! However, as her teeth came in, and they did in rapid succession, the pain meant bottles were a no go area for her. Every bottle we tried brought on screaming fits until eventually at 7 months we were introduced to the Nuby funny shaped teet. She took to it immediately and I sighed with relief with a glass of red wine.
This time round there was no question about breastfeeding. Breast is best as they say, however for me the fact that it’s free i a major plus point. Also not having to bother with bottles and sterilizing, or get up in the night are equally put big ticks in the “breast is best” box. The little fact that you burn around 500kcals a day thus helping me get back into my pre-baby jeans after a couple of weeks is more than a bonus.
I do know that I’m pretty selfish as a mother, I get fed up that after 9 months pregnant my body still isn’t my own and won’t be for some time. Forgetting to use a breastpad and realising too late when out with a soggy milk patch on your top is horrid. Having to wear nursing bras and planning my wardrobe as to which clothes I can feed easily in annoys the life out of me. In many ways I can’t wait to stop breastfeeding and be able to sleep for longer than a few hours without leaking all over the bed but there will be a tiny bit of me that is sad that my little man will be one step closer to independance…or I suppose I will be one step away from the centre of his world…and there’s me being selfish again haha.
What can I say, I’m a woman…never happy!